Understood

Ep.2 | Changing your energy, rewiring old beliefs, mental health @ work, self care

July 08, 2020 Mitch Wallis
Understood
Ep.2 | Changing your energy, rewiring old beliefs, mental health @ work, self care
Chapters
Understood
Ep.2 | Changing your energy, rewiring old beliefs, mental health @ work, self care
Jul 08, 2020
Mitch Wallis

In this episode we cover:
• What is your “idle state” – i.e. how are you when no one is looking as a default and how that is affecting our life without knowing it
• How to change the energy you put out to the world
• Mitch explores an internal narrative of “I need to suffer in order to get what I want”
• How to rewire a long-standing belief and challenge it’s validity through challenging and pivoting it’s “truth”
• A discussion around mental health in the workplace – how to manage your mental health whilst getting your job done, and how your organisation plays a role in that
• A review of Mitch’s self-care framework and the core tactics he uses to keep himself afloat

Show Notes Transcript

In this episode we cover:
• What is your “idle state” – i.e. how are you when no one is looking as a default and how that is affecting our life without knowing it
• How to change the energy you put out to the world
• Mitch explores an internal narrative of “I need to suffer in order to get what I want”
• How to rewire a long-standing belief and challenge it’s validity through challenging and pivoting it’s “truth”
• A discussion around mental health in the workplace – how to manage your mental health whilst getting your job done, and how your organisation plays a role in that
• A review of Mitch’s self-care framework and the core tactics he uses to keep himself afloat

What is, uh, uh, what is up everyone? It's good to be back. Good to have a chat so many things on my mind this week that I was like, Oh, I can't wait to talk to this mythical audience that I have no idea who and if we'll listen to, but for some weird reason, I already miss you guys. So that's a good sign. What's been going on so many things. And I want to jump into a few of them right at the start, and then we'll get into some calls. And remember, this podcast is all just my random things that I think about on a daily basis that I just want to explore. And I've been exploring recently, this concept of an idle state. And what I mean by idling idling is when a car is stopped at a traffic light, for example, and it's just rolling over. You know, some cars that are electric nowadays that aren't even idle, they shut off when they're stationary in order to conserve petrol and all that stuff. But the concept of idling means that an engine can carry on over a certain kind of norm, without having to shut everything down started up again. So I got really interested in like, what's the idle state version for a human? And more specifically, what's my idle state? And I caught myself one morning, just like going up an escalator. And I thought to myself, if someone looked at me right now, I'm idling in my own world, walking to work done, whatever. What would this snapshot be of me? And what would they think lies under my hood? What's in the trunk of his car? And it's less about necessarily, do we have resting bitchface. And you know, what our appearance is to the world? How people judging us. And it's more the concept of what energy Am I putting out to the world? without me even knowing it? And also, regardless of how it affects people, why am I idling in this state that I am? Because I think that shows a lot about what might be lying beneath me as a person. So in a completely role. Non non arbitrary environment isn't like, I haven't manufactured anything, if someone just came and tapped me on the shoulder at any point in the day, it's like 1:13pm on a Tuesday, if they would stop. I would love you know, I was really interested around like, what would I be like just then walking around sitting at my desk? What energy would I be giving out? In relation to how that affects other people, but also what it what is that saying about me? And so I was like, Well, okay, what's my idle state? And I found that my idle state was quiet. You know, if you're not watching the video podcast, it's it was intense. I guess that's the word. I mean, I'm an intense person, for sure. And I think in 10 cities and a bad thing, so long as it's kind of got it in the right way. But I was intense. I was quite in my head. You know, my eyebrows were a little bit frown. Like if I caught myself if I stopped myself at multiple points out there, like, how am I idling? I was like, Wow, it's quite heavy. And it did. And so that, for me was an amazing opportunity or window for work and introspection and personal growth and development, I thought, step one, become aware of how I'm idling. Step two, why am I idling the way that I am? And step three? What is my neutral state that I want to create? Because I think we spend so much of our life in an idle state and unconscious, just like, hum. Imagine if we could become aware of that and change it so that it's more intentional, how much it would affect our life. And I really think it would affect your life in a big way. Because we spend so much time in neutral gear. And so I want to ask you, how do you idle? What is your default state when no one's watching? And what is that saying about you? And how is it affecting people around you? For me, it brought to my attention that I want to be someone who shines. You know, the one word that I put my ideal energy down to is I want to shine bright. You know, if someone was to walk past me, I would want them to be like, wow, that guy's like, radiating positive vibes. So I was like, how do I idle where I shine? And so I came up with this with this thing. I try and tell myself a few times a day whenever I like catch myself on like, shine, bright light and tide. So what shine reminds me is lift your energy and put out positive vibes to the world and doesn't necessarily mean I need to do anything. It's literally just telling myself to shine, changes my chemistry. And makes me think if I was to project a field right now of like glowing rays, how do I shine so that every interaction I have everything that I do is filled with this like positive electric charge. Because that's how I want to leave people. And that's what I want to be as a person I want to shine because that not only helps others, it also attracts the right frequency into your life. So I said, Every time I stopped myself, whenever I'm idling, I'm like, shine. And then I remind myself light, bright and tight. What light is, is shine. But like with ease, like I literally have to shake my body out sometimes because my intensity is my default. So shining light is important. Because shining, you could shine heavy and everything be like, I want this to happen, I want this, like, love me, or like I'm awesome, or I need to be positive and like that heaviness is just not a good energetic state. And so I tell myself, shine light. So be be bright, sorry, Shine, shine out, but keep it light, keep it bright, reminds me Don't just shine with positivity really shine. And keep that energy or that idle state on a on a on a high hum. You know, because that's, that's the type of frequency I want to be, I want to be putting out there, I don't just want to shine or because that's you know, that's, that's energy, I want to shine, I want it to be light and I want to be bright, and I want it to be tight tight means that I'm not just willy nilly putting my energy out everywhere all over, you know, I want my energy to be focused and tight, ie, it's got to come from a strong coal within. I want it to I want to I have a habit of you know, not being attached to my body and dissociating and all that stuff. And so tight reminds me that the energy ultimately comes from within the skin package. Within this skin suit body skeleton that I happen to be residing in currently. The energy, or that explosion, that shine, it's coming from in here in my heart. And so tight reminds me, it's not just this huge thing that's going on. It's it's, it's focused, and it's coming from here. And it's you know, it has a direction. Anyway, that might not mean much to people, it makes sense to me, which is all that matters. So I now have a new intentional idle state, which is shine bright light. And that's helped. It really has the last couple of weeks. I've tried it and I've been walking along in my little intense unconscious zombie mode. And I'll be like, Oh, yeah, Shine, shine bright, light and tight. And I'll just notice that, you know, you walk past people and you just have this air about you that's more attractive. And I don't mean attractive in the traditional sense of being like that guy's hot but attractive is in like, I want people to be like, I love being around him. You know, that's such an important metric to me is like, do I make people feel good when I'm around them? Whether it's the janitor, the barista, my best mates, my family. The people feel like I'm filling them with energy. Am I shining toward them? are they leaving me for betterment I even regardless of anyone else? Am I shining in a frequency that's attracting in the things that I want? Or am I letting negativity and handed heavy energy energy, heavy energy and low frequencies consume my life, I don't want that. I don't want to live unconsciously I don't want to live in this zombie dream state. I want to I want to be in control of my life. And I want to put the right frequency out there. And frequency and energy that can be like Voodoo and hippy topics that some people might be like what the fuck this guy's like from the 60s smoking LSD. I don't know if you can smoke LSD, but now you can, apparently, but I mean that. You know, everything has a vibration and ultimately at the end of the day, we're just atoms and atoms are just electrons, neutrons, blah, blah, blah with they're just vibrating energies. And so I'm a big believer in in you put you get out. What you put in and your energy is such a big part of the puzzle when you're like, why isn't my life happening the way that I want it to enjoy what frequency putting out there. And that often takes a lot of self awareness to actually monitor that and be aware of that in order to then change it. So idle state, have a think this week how am I idling if someone walked past me at work or walk into the bar What would they think? And does that have any truth about what's happening internally? And if so, can I idle in a different way? Can I idle on a higher frequency, because imagine, if that's your idle state, if you're shining, or whatever word feels relevant to you, if, if whatever energy you're putting out in a neutral state, if that is high, and if that is intentional and strong, imagine what that platform will give you when you actually want to be intentional about a project or a person or a conversation or, or performance, whatever you then actually, you know, think about amazing because eventually your idle state becomes you don't think about it, that's just who you become, imagine becoming that person. How awesome would it be, if your idle state leads you into, that's who I am. Now, without thinking about it. I'm someone who spins high attracting people in and I haven't even tried, if you can get your ideal state to be that imagine trying on top of that, imagine being you know, specific in in the things that you do, and you try and hit your goals when when that's the platform you're coming from. That's what appealed most to me about changing my idle state is I'm like, Well, if I can change default, um, I have a head start with every other area of my life. So yeah, that's that. What else that I want to talk about? Want to get some coals. Maybe one last thing. I didn't know until recently, but I've been carrying a narrative round of I need to suffer in order to get what I want. This kind of came about when, with heart on my sleeve, I was working towards something and and I remember telling my mom, like, oh, that won't come good. Because when it's too good to be true, it always is. I think one of the donors was going to give us like a big sum of money. And I thought, No, this is too easy. And I was like, she actually brought my attention to it. She's like, why do you have to go through pain in order for good things to happen. And she's really good at flagging this, she knows me better than anyone. But it's kind of like an OCD thing, where you have to punish yourself in order to be, quote, unquote, worthy of reward or success. And it's interesting, this little frog in my throat, excuse me, it's interesting that I've carried that forever. If I think about it, for so long, I've carried a narrative that success, abundance, happiness can't exist without pain. Now, upon looking at it more, it's not that I don't think that pain is a part of success. It is a lot, a lot of the times hard work is painful, you know, it's not always pleasurable, and I'm very much someone who's okay with that. And, and so I don't think it's, well, if something's hard or painful, it means something's going wrong. That's not the point. The point is, is that unless something is painful, I don't feel like I'm going to succeed. I, if it's easy, and it doesn't need to be hard, I'll make it hard. Just so I feel like I've ticked the box to get more control over the likelihood that I'm going to get a good outcome. That's not healthy. Because what I'm what I'm doing is I'm seeking out pain, because I'm fulfilling a narrative or story in my head that that's the way it has to be, when it could be easy and it could be successful. And I could get what I want. without necessarily having to go and find the pain. If it's not naturally and organically part of the process, I have to go and find it in order to like, punish myself tick the box so that I can then get the outcome. And that's not good. It was really interesting when I noticed that when mom helped me flagged that and it was actually that same donor, who when I met up with her, she said to me donor, by the way in funding for charity, not like organs, thankfully, my organs are fine. What I mean by that is that, you know, she said, Why won't you just accept this money? like, Whoa, that's bad if, if I'm not adverse to it, I'm almost like losing opportunities. As a result of this. I'm like shooting myself in the foot. And she's quite a wise woman and quite spiritual. And she said, your karma is currently carrying this. You know, it has to be hard, otherwise it's not true or real. And she said, You have to drop that. Because you're going to fulfil that. It's just gonna keep going around in circles. And it's interesting because the brain only carries a narrative because it thinks that when it looks back, it can find facts to validate it. So if you say I'm ugly, you know, you'll go well, because of this time, this time. And this time, that was true, that was true, I was told that by a boy or girl or I missed out on a casting, or no one invited me to formulae that year. Or I could never start a business because I'm not smart enough. And the evidence for that is that, you know, I got X amount on my high school exams. That person told me I was dumb in year five, and did it. So these little evidence points get built up along the way. And then enough little, what we call facts. If they come together and form a group, that group of quote unquote, facts or evidence, particles, is what becomes a story or a narrative that ends up leading our entire life, often without our knowledge, consent or control. That is dangerous. I had created those evidence points for me. And the story was, success can only be hard and difficult. Now, the problem with that is that stories often drive our entire life and we don't even know it, they we can carry them for decades. But often, the coal foundations, or what we see is evidence containers for what has informed that story to date, are not true. And this is the whole basis of the leading psychotherapy, in the West Cognitive Behavioural Therapy CBT. Ultimately, CBT is, is changing the story that you tell yourself, if you're going to cycle, I would say, without knowing the exact data, but 80 to 90% of psychologists these days, then the number one form of therapy, when you come in and talk to them about anxiety, depression, people will be CBT, which is recognising where your thoughts what they call distorted. They're unhelpful. They're not necessarily true, and the binding you in this narrative. And then how we challenge that thought to be like, is this really true isn't serving me. And we do that by bringing in different perspectives like, that person hates me, or all people at work? Hate me, and I'll never have friends. You know, a psychologist who's practising CBT will be like, Where did you get that story from? What's telling you that that's true? What are the evidence particles, and then going back and actually challenging the validity of that thought and statement, and replacing it with something that's more helpful and more true. The underlying principle of how you destroy and recreate a, an infected story and replaced with a healthy one, which I believe is like the core foundation to all mental health stories is what we do at heart on my sleeve. But how you change that, is often by by getting less black and white about the way that you're thinking about it. So it's not everyone at work hates me, I have to suffer in order to get success. Often, it'll be in the grey where the truth is, sometimes I will need to suffer for success. But success doesn't need to be hard. And then when my brain goes, Well, give me a time that it hasn't been it's been hard every single time. Often I go, that's true, because this isn't so hard. But when you actually challenge that, and often you need a therapist to do this, because you need to be held honest and accountable. It's not true, you just see the parts that you want in order to make that story fit. Even if it's not true, unhealthy, unhappy, causing us pain, we want to feel in control, and now want for certainty Trumps our need for truth every day of the week. So even if a story or narrative that we tell ourself, isn't wholesome and and it's not and it's completely distorted. It's certain, and it's now part part of our identity. And we'll do whatever we can to keep that certainty alive, because the ambiguity of that breaking down will will fracture and challenge our sense of self. So with the right help, what we can do is say, oh, there's actually a little wound under there that I wasn't aware of, and it's actually a whole narrative. It's driving the way I look at the world. And it's driving everything from career relationships, money, blah, blah, blah. And and I'm not willing to part with it because it's now part of who I am. What we need to be doing, what we need to do is Be willing to register, Fuck, I'm actually having these thoughts and I'm holding this story. Where did it come from? Why is it there? And can I be willing to just expand my version of that story, as opposed to try and disprove it, you try and disprove a theory and go and head to head with one of these narratives or evidence pockets, your brain is always just gonna fight back stronger and harder, because it's using that, for your sanity, it's using that to have a coherent sense of self. It's, it's, it's served you for this long, it's got you to this point. So what we don't need to challenge it front on, I don't need to say to myself, success is always easy. I just need to say, success doesn't always have to be hard. And I don't need to find data points where success has just been completely effortless. But what I can do is, look, absolutely, there is evidence to support that success hasn't always been hard, and I haven't always needed to punish myself. So notice, all I'm doing is broadening my scope of the story and adding in alternative viewpoints to be more accurate and less distorted. And that in and of itself frees the mind, or the grip in which those toxic narratives have control over us simply by saying, This isn't fully true. And this isn't serving me anymore. How do I broaden the scope of this chapter or this book. And what we find ultimately, is that our character, this passive character, actually has more choice, more autonomy, more control. And we move more into an active protagonists role in our own life, that gets to actually start to write the script, as opposed to just be a victim of what's being written for us, because that's the way the world is, according to our old stories, no, we now have the opportunity to write a new narrative ourselves, we have that power, we have that control. All right, we're going to take a few calls. Now. Remember, that my number for this podcast, if you want to call is Oh, 419689311. If you're in the US, or anywhere outside of Australia, just put a plus six one in front of that drop the zero, so plus 61419689311. All righty, let's get into it. on mental health in the workplace, I know that part of the work that you do is working with kind of big corporates on how to assess and support employees mental health, to ensure that they are able to do their job to the best of their ability, but also still making sure that their mental health is impacted by their work. I was interested in your thoughts around a good way for an employer to be able to take a balanced approach to a school I guess monitoring and ensuring that their employees mental health is respected and that they are experiencing a good kind of silence mental health, throughout their their career, but also kind of counter balancing that with ensuring the job gets done in the right things done for the company. Because you know, it's a bit of a confusing one for me, because, as an employee, I would love to be obviously nurtured and kind of carried through my challenges, you know, by my employer, but if I put myself in the shoes of the employer, you know, what's the right way to balance getting the right outcomes and and, you know, driving successful business, but at the same time, you know, really being able to have a clear and supportive strategy for your employees mental health. Thanks very much. Bye. Yeah, though, that question was from Holly, thank you so much for calling Holly. And that was really about mental health in the workplace. How do we balance the need for productivity as a resource whilst also looking after us as a human? The good news is those two things aren't mutually exclusive. being good at your job or providing the company or your employer with value, whilst also managing either a mental ill health issue or just managing the normal day to day stresses of life can be done very, very effectively. In fact, the more your employer is part of that journey, AI is aware of it helps to manage it through systems, policies, culture, etc. The more they invest in that space of seeing The whole human, the much higher economic return a company has been proven to get one study out of Australia by eo n showed that there's a total of 30 return on investment for every dollar invested in mental health. Now, this goes beyond mental ill health, it's just what is the brain? How are the brains of my resources working? How are the How are the computers inside my army of servers, ie my human capital? How are they feeling? And how are they operating? Are they firing on all cylinders, and it's important for the employee that that happens, and it's okay, when a machine starts to have hot circuit or starts to malfunction a little bit. Ultimately, the workforce is number one responsibility is to not make someone worse, more than anything else, so you are legally ethically, economically, everything else is entitled to feel and be safe at work. And that includes your mental safety as well. So if the job demand that you're experiencing or the way you do your job, job design, job control, the environmental conditions, the relationships at work, if any of that is actually contributing to a state of ill health, mentally, you're willing your rights to work to say to your employer, you know, this, this and this is affecting me, I would really, I know that I could give more to you as a resource. If this isn't this happened. So it's about finding the balance between what's been accepted. And often, the changes that we asked for, or the conversations we have with our boss isn't to slack off, you know, the vast majority of us, just like Holly can can put ourselves in our boss's shoes and be like, I know that you want me to work, you know, I'm not here for a holiday, this is a job, I get paid to fulfil a service. And so with that understanding, we're not looking for to get off easy, we're just looking to try and give them the best of ourselves. And it's okay, if the best of yourself comes out in a different way to how things have traditionally been done. And companies are slowly coming around to this, you know, at a legal status. At least in Australia, we have what's called reasonable adjustments, where, where tweaks to conditions and, and your job title and tasks and all that has to be made if in support of recovery of an illness, like anxiety or depression. But even in a state of health, we can further optimise our relationship and environmental setting at work so that we can give more. But ultimately, you don't need to suffer unnecessarily, because you're like shit, I don't want to pay some my workplace off. There is they're under an obligation to not make you worse. And they're also under an obligation that when you're not feeling well, they help you get well. What they are not ever responsible for ethically, legally or otherwise, is to make you better, or fix you. Their responsibility is to not make you worse, or not be a cause of illness, and help you help yourself manage your own health. And this all starts with a conversation, you know, with your manager to say, here's where things aren't working well for me, here's where it is. And here's how we can improve. Now we have a full workshop on this at heart on my sleeve, where we take people both from an employee's perspective and a manager's perspective, how you go through this process and the different domains of it. You know, some relates back to the legal mandatory requirements of not causing or aggravating illness, some relate back to how you promote health, even in a state of health. How do you make your workforce even stronger and more resilient. And then also how you how you manage recovery when someone has disclosed a mental illness, how you make sure that you can help them return to work and stay at work safely. At the end of the day work is a huge source of mental health. It's one of the main things that helps us stay happy. It provides meaning purpose, relationships, financial stability, routine, all these things that that a great sometimes work can also be a source of our pain when it over indexes on the boundary. And it actually starts to like eroded out all the things that I just said. So just like everything, it's all about dosage work is something where we want to find a point where we're in our flow, stress is not a bad thing. In fact, we need stress to be successful and happy and productive. The The opposite is like boredom and depression. But too much of it is anxiety and overwhelm. So what we're trying to do is find out optimal working conditions where we can be the best possible resource we can for our company, whilst also being true to who we are being happy and feeling fulfilled. And companies starting to be a lot more willing to go on this journey with their staff to say, how do we have a better relationship, this isn't a transaction, it's a partnership. And it is in the it is in the interest across all domains, as I keep referring to legal, ethical economic, in order to have that dialogue. And again, there's frameworks behind how you can have that how you manage it, or how you talk about it as the actual person going through it. But I think the biggest point I want to get across just to answer Holly's question directly is being a good worker. And having good mental health is not a trade off, it does not need to be mutually exclusive. It is absolutely part and parcel of one another. And the benefits of finding that synergy. are life changing. Alright, another question. lesbo. Hey, man, my name is Carly and I live in Colorado. My question for you is what sort of your go to tactics for coping with mental health challenges sort of across the spectrum. So ranging from sort of general self care, after like a stressful meeting, or an anxiety provoking social situation, all the way to more specific, highly personal or triggering situations where more intensive measures need to be taken. And also sort of how you can distinguish when to use each tactic. Okay, thanks. Thanks. Alright, I first international call, Kali, thank you very, very much. Yeah, so basically, self care. The way I look at self care is in three buckets. People, actions, thoughts. In each of those three buckets, I list the things that helped me in different stages. So once we have our domains, we put I put like an intensity filter on it. So what do I do when I'm feeling good? I, what actions Am I taking when I'm feeling healthy? In order to maintain my health, I want to exercise every morning. For 15 minutes, for example, that's an action that would sit in a proactive or healthy state. Then I have a filter, which is what happens when I'm feeling a little off. What people do I go to what actions do I take? What thoughts do I become more aware of and try and change? When I'm starting to not feel so good? Then I put a filter on as what happens when I know that I'm spiralling you know, what do I do across those three? And then the final is card read, I am absolutely lost. I'm completely overwhelmed. Shit has hit the fan. What am I doing? So I think the first thing about self care is know the levers that you can pull and how hard to pull each lever depending on what headspace you're in. And I've literally got what I call a plan on a page, which is I have that information sitting in front of me those three domains across those different intensity brackets. And I've I've got even just one thing in each box that I have on that matrix that I can go to. So that when I'm not feeling rational when I'm not feeling stable and grounded, my rational brain is literally sitting somewhere on a page for me to go to. It's like I'm leaving little life jackets for myself on my computer and in my phone so that whenever she hits the fan, I'm like, Oh, it's all good. I've thought about this in a calm cohesive head state. Let me just go back there and work the plan because I know that this has been trialled tested thought about and it's robust. I know this stuff works. So I go back to it. I'll post my plan on a page. So I can show you some of the examples but little things like for example, and actions in moderate intensity. So when I'm feeling Little law for spiralling I'll put a red colour as my screensaver of my phone. That's literally me red cutting myself, that's me going timeout, because you're about to get into this shit hit the fan bucket. And so every time I look at my phone, you know, dozens of times a day, I'll be reminded, oh shit, I've read code of myself. Now the red card has a whole bunch of implications that sit behind it, it means no social media, no technology off like APM no substances, so no alcohol, whenever the red cards active, certain amount of work hours per day, and I have a luxury that I can control that because I run my own business, whereas other people might be like, you know, I can't just work four hours today, because I feel like a whole multitude of things a certain amount of meditation on those days. And so should that would be an action that I take that triggers things in the background or activates a set of behaviours, thoughts, for example, I know that when I'm really screwed, love work, when I'm in my most high intensity bucket, my number one thought is, my life's ruined, it's going to be like this forever, you know, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah. And one of the one of the things in my thought box under high intensity is remember, this is temporary. I have to remind myself, everything passes, because I become more scared of it lasting forever than I do. Dealing with the actual pain in the moment, the pain in the moment is always tolerable. It's how long will this last that thought becomes more scary than most. So I leave myself that little nugget to remind myself on the proactive on the on the know, intensity, you know, what am I doing to maintain and, and sustain a state of good health. You know, it's very much around the fundamentals. So exercise, diet, sleep. Even things like hygiene is really important. So like keeping up my hygiene and getting regular haircuts, you know, that's something in my proactive bucket. And it's also my feeling a little off bucket, because when I'm not feeling good, I know that forget my hair good and like feeling a bit more confident, often that can be enough just to pull me out of that funk. And show you the different tactics across your people, your actions and your thoughts. Depending on which intensity you're in are gonna are gonna work in different ways. And you have backups to catch. Each one of them, you know, medication is, is more around the high intensity stuff, when if if and when I really needed people, you know, sometimes if I'm just feeling a little off, I can have a chat to x, y and Zed people about about things. But if I'm feeling really, really off, there's only like one or two people that I know, can hold me and provide the level of like, understanding and complete sync and connection that I need in those moments. And so, but I might not need to go to that extreme if I'm not there. So, so self care for me is around identifying what levers you have to pull, which is people actions and thoughts and, and actually populating a plan around those those levers. The second thing to do is to think about the different levels of intensity or headspace that you need that self care for. So are you actioning those three things? Are you doing those three things at a proactive healthy space or when you feeling a little off or when you're spiralling or when you should hit the fan? The third thing is to put when you're actually writing these tactics or things down when when you're thinking about your thoughts and new people in your actions. A good way to think about it is what am i stopping? What am I starting and what am i continuing? So for example, when I'm feeling a little off, I might make sure that in the thoughts column I'm stopping catastrophizing so I know that that's something I do like you know what if what if what if what if, so stop what iffing start a conversation with with Sarah, Jim and jack continue to make sure that your exercise is high intensity because you're gonna need to burn off the extra adrenaline so as opposed to just like going to the gym I might continue only my high intensity classes that week. So like cardio stuff as opposed to gym. So so if you sit there and you look at your plan, you're like okay, I got my people my thoughts my actions. I've got you know what intensity of feeling shit Do I need to to build this for when Pick up the pen you're like, I don't know where to start. Just think, what am I stopping? What am I starting? And what am i continuing? When I'm feeling like this? And hopefully, that three layer system actions, thoughts, people feeling good feeling a little shit feeling very shit, I'm screwed. And what am I still continuing those three layers will give you a really, really comprehensive self care plan. And honestly, most people, which is crazy, they don't actually do this, you know, I would say 99% of people listening to this right now would not have a self care plan. They have not put aside even half an hour to think about how am I managing my mind? And how am I being proactive in thinking about? If I start to not feel good, what can I do? Maybe you've thought about it, but you've never actually written it down, write it down. I bet if you work in the corporate space, you spend, like, you know, 10 hours a day thinking about solving your client's problems. You've writing hundreds of pages of reports and thinking strategically. And you're giving all of your lovely brain power to everyone else. Give yourself half an hour, half an hour of building a self care plan and actually thinking about this will save you so many hundreds of hours in the coming months and years of you feeling shit and not knowing what to do. And then getting into a worse place than what you needed to have been had you just spend a little bit of time working on this now. So Carly, thank you very much for your question. That's all we have time for today. Hope you enjoyed it. Keep the calls coming in. If you don't feel comfortable leaving a voice message on the on the phone number just text me. I'll read it out and we'll get to it. And I look forward to speaking with you very soon.